Kevin’s Pub Dublin would be an actual Irish pub, since it would be in Ireland. It would probably immediately fail, since it would be run by an American, so it’s a good thing I applied for Irish citizenship. Then it can fail, because I’ve never actually run a pub.

Once I am an Irish citizen, I will have the citizenship story to tell my patrons while they’re sitting at the bar.

One note – don’t apply for a grandfathered Irish citizenship the same year that Brexit is enacted, and the Irish get flooded with requests from Brits who want to be Irish so they’re still European.

On the bright side, they probably will all need a drink after the process. Here’s my favorite quote from the procedure – the application said I needed my granddad’s marriage license or other proof of name change. He never changed his name, so I thought it wasn’t needed. However, since all the paperwork had to be shipped to Dublin, I thought I would ask first.

I tried asking the Department of Foreign Affairs and Trade on their Facebook page, and got a response very quickly that they couldn’t answer specific questions on Facebook. I wondered what generic questions they would get. Then, I wondered why “do I need my granddad’s marriage license?” was too specific, but then I decided to call.

The first time, I got a recording that they were very busy and some other info, and then it hung up on me. My first international hang-up! A couple hours later, I tried again, and after eight minutes on hold, I got a person.

I explained the question and he said, “You need to send the marriage license, even though there is no use for it whatsoever.” Emphasis on the whatsoever, in an Irish lilt. So, I sent it. Then, I asked if I needed my divorce paperwork (10+ pages) and both of my marriage licenses. He said, “No…. but if you have them around..” So, I sent it. Then, I asked if we could send my application with my little brother’s, since all of our ancestors were the same. He said “of course”, so I wrote a cover letter, just in case.

We’re waiting. The estimate on the website went from six months to a year. We’re almost at a year, but they haven’t added in the COVID-19 delays yet, I’m sure.

I’m hoping to have the citizenship paperwork before I die. Then, I will open a pub in Dublin, even though there is no use for another one whatsoever.


Kevin’s Pub Cozumel would be the one overseas location where my wife would go instantly. Not to the pub, to Cozumel. Cozumel is a port stop on pretty much every Western Caribbean cruise, so it’s easy to get there, even if you’re afraid of flying. We’ve been there a lot.

Cozumel is in Mexico, but it is tourist-driven, so you might not know, especially if you stay in town. People speak English. They take American dollars. They voted to change their time zone to make it easier for tourists from the US East Coast. That’s commitment.

The challenge with a pub in Cozumel is the sheer number of bars already in place. Even the best tourist trap stores have bars. This is a miraculous idea. My wife can spend two or three paychecks at Los Cinco Soles, and I can be at Pancho’s Backyard, enjoying margaritas and chips and salsa. Enough margaritas, and I almost don’t mind the amount she spends. Almost.

So, the goal would be to have Kevin’s Pub between the port and the shopping area. Of course, there are multiple ports and shopping areas, so it requires a good guess on traffic or multiple locations in the city.

Between a ship and shopping is where husbands try to distract their wives on the way to the stores and want to stop and drown their sorrows on the way back. Money.


Kevin’s Pub D’Hanis may be easy to miss since the town is easy to miss. It will probably be the only pub with barbeque.

D’Hanis is my Mom’s home town, a place I spent a lot of time visiting while I was growing up, and a place I would put a Pub just so I would have a reason to visit more often.

It is a dot on the map, out Highway 90 about 50 miles or so west of San Antonio. The 2010 Census said there were 847 people in town. It probably has not grown exponentially.

It’s one of those towns that’s easy to blink and miss. However, you really should stop at the Country Mart and get some sausage on your way through.

Kevin’s Pub D’Hanis would have two constituencies – the locals and the hunters who are only there part of the year. Hunters would probably rather have booze they could take back to their hunting camps than booze they could drink at the bar. That could be an issue.

However, there is more commerce in town than there used to be, so this may be a good time for a pub, so you don’t have to go to the steakhouse to get a drink.


Kevin’s Pub Dallas exists because I live in Dallas, so there has to be one here. It’s interesting, because of most of the towns I have listed as potential locations, it’s the one place outside Ireland and the UK that actually has decent pubs. (Some of the others do, as well. I’ve found Irish Pubs pretty much everywhere I’ve traveled.)

Dallas is the flagship location, the first one opened, and the one where most new ideas are tested before rolling it out to the rest of the corporate empire.

We have Guinness on tap, a bunch of local beers and local whiskey, as well. (If you’re stuck in Dallas over the weekend, go to Garland and visit our friends at Herman Marshall for a tour and tasting. Bottle your own whiskey.)